Cn Grssm Undrstnd MSN?
by VegasGoddess
Summary: GSR  Grissom hears his coworkers talking about a messaging service, and enlists Sara's help in installing it at his own home. Maybe messaging conversations will come easier for him when talking to a particular brunette...?


**Title:** Cn Grssm Undrstnd MSN?

**Summary:** Grissom hears his coworkers talking about a messaging service, and enlists Sara's help in installing it at his own home. Maybe messaging conversations will come easier for him when talking to a particular brunette...?

**Spoilers:** "Burden of Proof"; "Play With Fire"; slight "Who Shot Sherlock?"

**Disclimer:** I still haven't recieved anything from David... maybe I'll go ask Jon Wellner, he signed my book too...

**A/N:** Well, I saw this trend in other fanfics, so I thought, what the heck? I'll write a MSN based story, just because it seemed like fun and others had too. It is so far one of my favorite stories that I've written, so... read and enjoy.

* * *

**Cn Grssm Undrstnd MSN?**

Grissom walked to the break room, hearing the idle chatter of his team. Today's topic, it seemed, was focusing on some computer messaging program he had never heard of.

"Greg," Sara said, standing to pour herself some coffee. "What's wrong with your MSN? Every time I sign in, you don't show up on my contacts. Did you cancel your account or something?"

The young CSI looked shocked. "Cancel my MSN? Are you crazy Sara? How would I talk to anybody?"

"You could write, or call, Greg," Grissom said, making his presence known.

Everyone in the room jumped a little, wondering how long their boss had been standing there. They'd all been lightly joking that Grissom wasn't technically savvy, and no one was sure how he'd react.

Appearing to not have heard the earlier joking, he strode in, making his way to the coffee pot where Sara was standing. She quickly jumped out of the way and resumed her conversation with Greg.

"So Greggo, if you didn't cancel it, what's wrong with it?"

He leaned forward, flashing her a smile that made Grissom's blood boil with jealousy.

"I don't know what's wrong with it. But I'm going call someone to come and fix it sometime this week. Can't live without talking to my friends."

Sara smiled. "Whatever, Greg. Just get it fixed." She turned an icy but playful glare on the rest of her friends. "You're the only one who's ever on."

They all blushed sheepishly, looking for excuses.

"Sorry Sara," Catherine said, being the first to speak. "Lindsey is on _all_ the time. You try prying a teenaged girl from the most important conversation of her life."

Sara raised an eyebrow in silent question.

"Whether or not Brian McAullan winked at her or that girl behind her, Ashley," Catherine answered, shrugging.

Nodding, Sara accepted this. Turning to the other two men in the room, he said, "Boys? Got an explanation?"

"No," they said together.

"Ugh. You guys suck," she complained. Finally turning her attention to Grissom, she said, "So Griss, what do you have for us tonight?"

Her forced light tone changed the atmosphere in the room and everyone went quiet.

Grissom felt pain stab at his heart. He had to fix this, now. "Well Sara," he said, flashing her a quick grin, "tonight is pretty quiet. Only one case."

Everyone's attention caught, wondering who the lucky one was. Whoever got the lab was stuck with paperwork. And no one liked paperwork.

Unfortunately, Sara found herself betting quite high that she would be staying in. Grissom was eternally pissed at her, and she was still surprised that he let her out at all.

"Sara? Are you coming?" a voice asked, breaking into her thoughts.

She blinked, trying to smooth out the fact that she'd just been totally out of it. "I'm sorry, what?"

Grissom gave her a small smile. "I asked if you were coming to our crime scene."

_What!? Our crime scene…?_ "Oh yeah, I'm coming."

"Great. Meet me at my car."

Sara nodded, and stood from her chair. "I'll be right there."

As she walked by, Nick whispered, "Teacher's pet."

"Suck up," she returned, startling him.

"Hippie."

"Texan doof," she said, punching his arm. She expertly avoided his return hit, and slipped out the door. "Later, Cowboy."

The sound of Warrick's bursting laughter echoed down the hall, leaving Sara with a happy feeling.

**OoOoOoO**

The ride to their scene was silent for the most part, until Grissom could take it no longer and broke it.

"So, what is this messenger thing you were speaking about with Greg earlier?" he asked tentatively.

"Hmm? Oh… MSN?"

He nodded, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Well, MSN is a messaging service… you make an account, other people make accounts… and you add them as friends. Follow me?"

Again he nodded, smiling a little as he listened to Sara's voice.

"Anyway," she continued, "when you sign in, you're online and if your friends are on, you can talk with them."

"Why don't you just pick up the phone?" Grissom asked, bewildered.

"Because sometimes your friends aren't near a phone, or they could be halfway around the world. And let me tell you, MSN is a hell of a lot cheaper than phone bills to Paris."

"You know someone in Paris?" Grissom asked, more than a little surprised.

"As a matter of fact, I do."

"I – wow."

Sara smiled a little but stayed quiet the rest of the ride.

**OoOoOoO**

As they arrived at their scene, Grissom was hit with a bout of confidence.

While they were taking their kits from the back of his car, he asked, "Would you help me install it?"

She stopped, the kit halfway out of the trunk. She blinked, saying nothing. Then, "Excuse me?"

Taking a deep breath, he repeated, "Would you help me install it? MSN, I mean."

"Uhh… at work?"

"No, actually… I was hoping…" The small bout of confidence was long gone now. "At my house. On my home computer."

"I – oh… wow. I – I guess so, Grissom," Sara answered, her cheeks turning pink. "Um… when's a good time for you?"

"After shift?"

"Sure. That's…" _Perfect,_ she thought. "Good. After shift is fine."

**OoOoOoO**

They processed their scene in moderate silence, only speaking when they found something crucial. It was a good silence though, not an awkward one, like many of their shared moments of late.

When they had returned to the lab, they managed to not see a lot of each other, for they were both keeping a safe distance.

Sara was getting excited as shift wound down. She logged in her last bit of evidence and made her way to the locker room. There she found a sticky note on hers telling her to meet Grissom out in the parking lot.

Feeling the butterflies in her stomach, she grabbed her bag and headed out.

**OoOoOoO**

The early morning sunshine beat down on Grissom as he waited for his favourite brunette to come meet him. He saw her as she stepped outside, swearing and sliding on her sunglasses.

She made her way over to him, pushing back her shiny hair. The way that the sun hit her face made her pale skin glow, making her absolutely gorgeous in Grissom's eyes.

"Hey Grissom. Are you ready to enter the mad and crazy world of MSN Messenger?"

He laughed quietly. "Very funny, Sara," he said, a smile forming. He motioned to his car. "Get in."

Sara stopped cold. "What?"

"I said, get in."

"Aren't we taking separate cars?"

"What's the point? I can take you home later."

She stood staring at the car, saying nothing.

"What? You don't like driving with me?" Grissom asked lightly.

_Are you joking!?_ her mind screamed. _I love doing anything with you! _"No Griss, I like driving with you."

"Then come on."

"Alright, I'm coming."

**OoOoOoO**

They drove to Grissom's townhouse in silence, for each had so much to say but not finding the words.

Arriving, Grissom hopped out and walked around the car to open her door even before she had unclipped her seatbelt.

"Thanks," Sara said, surprised when he held the door open for her.

"No problem," he answered, smiling. He ushered her up the few stairs to his front door while reaching into his pocket for his keys. It was then that he realized he would have to reach around Sara to open the door. He hesitated a moment, not really sure as to what he should do, but then took the plunge and reached for the door.

A split second that seemed like a lifetime of sexual electricity flowed through both of them, stunning each into an eerie silence.

Grissom froze with his hand only inches away from Sara's hip. _I could just reach out, grab her hip, turn her around and kiss her… _

He pushed the thought away as he forced his hand to move towards the door and away from her body.

As he finally unlocked the door and pushed it open, he noticed Sara's breathing had changed and that her face was flushed. She looked absolutely beautiful.

He gave her a gentle push forward into his home and followed her in, closing the door behind him.

"So, do you want to start…?" he asked tentatively.

"Yeah, right away. But first, could I um, could I use your bathroom?"

"Down the hall to the left," he answered, moving towards his kitchen. "I'm putting coffee on. You want some?"

"Sure. Remember, sugar –"

"Sugar, milk, and no cream whatsoever. I know how you like you coffee, Sara. Now go to the bathroom." He gave her a huge grin and turned away from her.

**OoOoOoO**

Staring at her flushed reflection in the mirror, Sara mumbled, "Get it together, Sidle. You're only here to help install MSN on his computer. _Not_ to screw his brains out."

_Remember that! _she chided herself.

Feeling a little better and not so turned on, she let herself out of the bathroom. Walking to the kitchen, she found her cup of coffee and Grissom sitting at his computer, turned away from her but waiting patiently.

She watched him silently for a moment, revelling in the sheer intimacy of drinking coffee with him in his own home.

_How stupid is this?_ she thought. _I'm wasting my time loving the fact that I'm in his house drinking coffee with him… something I'm sure many women have done…_

Bringing her heart under control, she stepped forward. "Grissom? You want to get started?"

He turned around slowly, watching her over the top of his glasses. "Yes, Sara. Let's start." Grissom backed away from his computer and gestured to it. "Work your magic."

_If only I could on you…_ Nodding, Sara pulled a chair beside him. Grabbing the mouse, she asked, "You going to watch how I do this?"

"Why would I need to?"

"In case your computer crashes or something, and I'm not around to fix it?"

A small flash of fear crossed his eyes._ Why wouldn't you be around?_ he thought, panicked. _Is this a warning sign? Are you going to try and leave again? Leave me? No, Sara… _

"Grissom?" She looked up at him from her position in front of his computer.

"Sorry. What?"

A ghost of a smile crossed her face as she shifted her gaze back to the screen. "Are you watching what I'm doing?"

"Yes," he breathed, placing his left arm along the back of her chair. "I'm watching you."

Sara nodded and opened up his internet. It was the Yahoo! page. She'd been expecting Google or some bug site.

Typing in the address, she spoke as she worked. "Okay, I'm going to the MSN homepage… I'll put it in your favourites."

Grissom watched as her fingers flew over the keyboard. "You're an excellent typer," he said suddenly, startling her.

"Uhh… thanks. I like to type."

"What do you type?"

"Sorry? Oh, um… just short stories sometimes. And maybe poetry once in a while."

"Poetry?" he repeated, surprised. "Wow."

"Well, you recite poetry all the time, and I – well, I, I like it. So I decided to try it myself. I'm not very good, but hey."

"Would I ever be able to read some?"

Sara's eyes grew icy at his gall to even ask. Surely he wasn't that stupid, was he? He _had_ to know that poetry was her escape from him, and her broken heart.

"What do you write about?"

Apparently he was. The iciness melted and her eyes grew cloudy, looking… sorrowful.

"Nothing important, Grissom."

_Just the words that say how much I love you, and the ones that tell how lonely and empty I am without you. Nothing too terribly important._

"And as for you reading it, maybe someday, Grissom. Maybe someday."

Turning her attention to his computer again, she added the MSN homepage to his favourites and then opened up the Hotmail window.

"Okay, Grissom, you need a username. Ideas?"

Grissom blushed and looked down. "I don't know, Sara. What do you think it should be?"

Sara looked shocked. _He's asking me for my opinion on something personal for him!? Oh God…_

"I don't know either, Griss. How about… BugLover?"

_How about SaraLover?_ He nodded. "Sure. That's good."

Sara typed it in and then gave the keyboard to him. "Type in your password," she said.

He thought for a moment, then smiled and typed it in. _Beautiful-Brunette,_ he thought happily. _I'll never forget it._ Once he was done, he handed her the keyboard and sat back. "Done," he said.

She smiled slightly then pressed 'save'. "All done," she said. "You now have MSN Messenger." She closed the internet and went to his desktop. She found the icon and clicked on it, opening the Live Messenger.

"What are you doing?"

"Giving you some friends to talk to."

"Oh, thanks."

After adding what looked like five contacts, she signed out and stood up. "There you go, Grissom. It's all set up."

"Thank you Sara. I'm glad that you could help me. If you don't mind me asking, who did you add?"

"Catherine, Warrick, Nick and Greggo," she said, ticking them off on her fingers.

"That's only four," Grissom said, confused. "I thought you added five."

"I did," she said with a smirk. "I'll see you at work, Grissom."

And with that she left, calling a cab on her way to the front door, and leaving Grissom to ponder who his fifth friend was.

**OoOoOoO**

For the next few days, whenever Grissom was at home, he'd sign in and wait for his mysterious contact to sign in so that he could talk to them and find out who they were.

A week went by with no sign of life from the person, and he was starting to believe that Sara had planted the name there as a joke and that they weren't real at all. He had finally decided to delete the ghost contact.

With his mouse poised over the 'Delete This Contact' button, the little icon turned green and moved to the top of the list. They were online.

He closed his options and clicked on the contact, finally ready to solve the mystery surrounding who they were.

**OoOoOoO**

**BUGLOVER:** Hello?

**VEGASHONEY:** Hi Grissom.

**BUGLOVER:** You know my name?

**VEGASHONEY:** Of course I know your name. We work together.

**BUGLOVER:** We do?

**VEGASHONEY:** Oh my God. You have no idea who I am, do you?

**BUGLOVER:** No. Should I?

**VEGASHONEY:** Let me remind you. "I don't know what to do about this."

**OoOoOoO**

Grissom was shocked. _Sara_ was VegasHoney!? _She_ was his mystery friend? He couldn't even wrap his mind around it.

A small ringing from his computer alerted him to another message from Sara.

**OoOoOoO**

**VEGASHONEY:** Griss? Are you still with me?

**BUGLOVER:** Yes, Sara. I'm still here.

**VEGASHONEY:** Very good, Grissom. You remembered that conversation. I was almost afraid that you would think I was a different woman you'd used that line on.

**BUGLOVER:** If it makes you feel any better, I've only used that line on you.

**VEGASHONEY:** You think that would _make me feel better!?_ That you know what to do in every other relationship but ours?

**BUGLOVER:** We don't even have a relationship.

**VEGASHONEY:** And whose fault is that? You know what, you are a real asshole and I hate you. I'm signing off. Oh, and if I'm not in work tomorrow, it's because I shot myself over a broken life, okay? Bye.

**OoOoOoO**

Grissom sat shocked at his computer. Had Sara just said that she might commit suicide!?

His hands flew over the keyboard, frantically typing.

**OoOoOoO**

**BUGLOVER:** Sara? Sara! Where are you? Please come back… don't do this… you can't…

**VEGASHONEY:** What the fuck do you want Grissom? Leave me alone.

**BUGLOVER:** Sara! Oh, you came back! Thank God…

**VEGASHONEY:** What the fuck do you want Grissom?

**BUGLOVER:** For you to be safe, and to not say things… like that.

**VEGASHONEY:** Like what?

**BUGLOVER:** Saying things like committing suicide. Things that rip my heart apart into a thousand broken pieces.

**VEGASHONEY:** Oh. Sorry about that then.

**BUGLOVER:** Are you really?

**VEGASHONEY:** Yes Grissom, I'm sorry for scaring you. Now, I'm going to bed otherwise I'll fall asleep at work. (My supervisor doesn't approve.)

**BUGLOVER:** Okay, Sara. I'll let you go to bed. Just promise that when I see you tomorrow, you'll be okay?

**VEGASHONEY:** I'll be fine, Griss. Goodnight.

**BUGLOVER:** Goodnight, Sara. Have a good sleep. And thank you.

**VEGASHONEY:** Yep. Bye.

**BUGLOVER:** Goodbye.

**OoOoOoO**

Grissom stared at the screen for a good long time before signing off and deciding he was ready for bed himself.

He trudged off to bed, his mind spinning thousands of pictures of a dead Sara, her broken body and lifeless eyes staring at him, effectively giving him nightmares.

**OoOoOoO**

It was around noon when Grissom got up, unable to sleep. He's tossed and turned for over an hour, his mind _not_ shutting down at all.

Making himself a cup of coffee, he sat at his desk and signed onto MSN just out of habit. No one was online, but that was typical. It was the middle of the night for his friends, and they were all asleep.

He surfed the internet a bit, waiting for his coffee. When it was done, he checked his contacts and saw that one friend was online.

Sara.

Slowly he opened her conversation box, and hesitantly began to type.

**OoOoOoO**

**BUGLOVER:** Sara?

**VEGASHONEY:** Griss? Hey… long time no speak, huh?

**BUGLOVER:** Yes. I thought you went to bed.

**VEGASHONEY:** I did. You weren't there though, so I couldn't sleep.

**BUGLOVER:** What!?

**VEGASHONEY:** Sorry?

**BUGLOVER:** Did you just type what I think you did?

**VEGASHONEY:** I don't know. What do you think I just typed?

**BUGLOVER:** That you… couldn't sleep because I wasn't there…?

**VEGASHONEY:** Are you crazy? Why would I write that?

**OoOoOoO**

Sara stared at her computer in confusion. She sure as hell hadn't written that, even though it was the absolute truth. But she wouldn't just _tell_ him that out of the blue. She wasn't that desperate.

**OoOoOoO**

Grissom scrolled back up to where Sara had written her confession.

It wasn't there.

All her message said was, "I did." Nothing about him not being there… just, "I did." Only two words.

He shook his head and resumed their conversation.

**OoOoOoO**

**BUGLOVER:** Sorry, Sara. That's what I thought you said.

**VEGASHONEY:** Why would I say that?

**BUGLOVER:** Because that's how you really feel?

**VEGASHONEY:** Even if that _was_ how I felt, what do you care? You don't care about me at all!

**BUGLOVER:** Sara! How can you say that? Don't you know how much I care about you?

**VEGASHONEY:** No.

**BUGLOVER:** My God, Sara. You _have_ to know how much I care about you.

**VEGASHONEY:** Well I don't. You don't ever tell me, or show me. How the hell am I supposed to know?

**BUGLOVER:** I don't know… I just thought you would.

**VEGASHONEY:** How would I? You don't ever talk to me anymore, and whenever you do, it's work-related and downright cold. Nobody's heart can take that kind of beating for long, Grissom.

**BUGLOVER:** Well of course it's work-related. We're at _work_. What more is there to talk about?

**VEGASHONEY:** You don't get it, do you?

**BUGLOVER:** Apparently not.

**VEGASHONEY:** We could talk about ourselves, things we like and dislike, opinions… _anything_!

**BUGLOVER:** At work?

**VEGASHONEY:** Godamnit Grissom, no! At your place. My place. A park. A restaurant. A _social_ setting!

**BUGLOVER:** I'm not good in social settings.

**VEGASHONEY:** Neither am I. But together, we would be okay.

**BUGLOVER:** What do you want from me Sara?

**VEGASHONEY:** Wow. You are _so_ stupid. _Why_ did I fall in love with you? I always said I'd find a smart guy…

**BUGLOVER:** Did you really write that?

**VEGASHONEY:** No.

**BUGLOVER:** Oh…

**VEGASHONEY:** Yes fuck, I wrote that!

**BUGLOVER:** Then what do you _want_ from me?

**VEGASHONEY:** I am going to kill you.

**BUGLOVER:** Answer the question, and then you are free to carry out your murderous tirade on me.

**VEGASHONEY:** What do I want from you?

**BUGLOVER:** Yes.

**VEGASHONEY:** I want you. I want your mind, your soul, your body, your heart and your love. I want you to love me, and care for me…

I want you to unlock your mind so I can learn every bit of you piece by piece. I want your body next to mine when I sleep and I want you to be there when I wake up from nightmares in a cold sweat. I want you to tell me that it'll be okay and that you're there for me.

I want you to hold me while I cry, and to trust me with your thoughts. I want to just be with you and be comfortable, and to be content with having you nearby.

I want you to tell me that you love me and I want you to want all the things I want from _me_. Most of all though, Grissom, if you won't give me that, I want us to be friends again, at the very least.

**BUGLOVER:** I'll be right back, okay?

**OoOoOoO**

Sara was seething with anger. She had just poured out her entire heart to Grissom over godamned MSN and he didn't even react. Un-fucking-believable.

How could she love him so much that it hurt but sometimes hate him even more? Her heart was going to explode if something didn't happen soon.

She was planning the perfect way to murder him and hide his body so it would never be found when someone knocked on her front door.

She considered ignoring it so that when Grissom decided to return she wouldn't be preoccupied, but the knocking became more insistent and something told her to answer it.

Standing on shaky legs, she walked to the door and pulled it open, not bothering to look through the peephole.

Sara was met with big strong hands circling her body and pulling her close. Silky warm lips met hers, kissing her in a way that she had only imagined in her fantasies.

It was all so amazing and wonderful; perfect and loving; and all, completely and totally _him_.

"Grissom," she breathed out.

"You have me Sara. I'm yours now."

**OoOoOoO**

They made love for the first time that night, and it was filled with whispered words of love mixed with the tears falling down each of their faces.

The tears were finally shed over the years they wasted and the love that they could have had, only if they both had been brave enough to face their feelings and act on them.

Basking in the afternoon sunlight streaming into Sara's bedroom window, tears still fell, but these were the happy kind.

""I love you, Sara," Grissom whispered in her ear. "My God, I love you so much… "

"Shh," she said, wiping his tears away even as hers fell onto her hands. "I love you. And now I know that you feel the same way. We'll be okay from now on."

Grissom pulled her closer. "Thank you for waiting. For me, I mean."

"Of course," she answered with a watery smile. "But you know, this doesn't make all our problems disappear. We need to talk this out."

"We will. But for now, I just want to love you."

"That's what I've been waiting for."

He smiled. He could love her openly and freely now, and that was a thought that made his heart soar into the clouds.

Life was good now.

* * *

**-End-**


End file.
